The Daily Glow: An E-space for Healing and Growth
3 Tips To Help You Cope With Your Post-Election Anxiety and Stress
Does anyone else feel like crap post 2024 presidential election? The election results have caused feelings of shame, hurt, fear, confusion and hopelessness for many. Results, affirming their distrust for a country in which they inhabit. The election results for the 2024 presidential election are in and final and with talks of Project 2025, how can we prepare for four years under the reign and political advisement of "wig"? When accessing the National exit polls, here are a few questions to consider: What do you notice? What are you thoughts? What does this mean for you? Tik Toker 'Ireadhuney' details in her how based on the information above Black women must begin to look out for and prioritize themselves. The full video is linked here, but her caption affirms "we all we got." She shares that "as Black women we must organizing every aspect of our existence because no one is coming to help us." The video now as 6,000 plus black women, expressing their concerns and acknowledgment of Ireadhuney's plea to Black women. When people asked "how are you today", I initially stated "good", but when I thought about it, really thought about my feelings I began to answer honestly. "I AM DEPRESSED!" "I am scared of what's to come of the next four years." "I'm annoyed at the people who are going about life as "business as usual" without acknowledging what we experienced last night." Upon conversing with a classmate, she expressed that she was fearful of the approaching verdict. Confused, I expressed that I did not understand the fear surrounding the election. She then explained that her fear is not for herself, but for the people that she knows. The undocumented students and individuals within her life and others who benefits from the programs and procedures that with wig in office will be irradiated. I immediately felt a rush of empathy and as I cry in the public library, I'm not crying for myself, but for the people who I and many others overlooked. Thank you Z, for that insight! In rationalizing and taking in information from a fact-centered approach, we begin to lose sight of the people around us. In my self-centeredness, my focus was more on my false sense of safety rather than the collective good. I voted for Kamala, but prior to that conversation I held an arrogance that allowed me believe that "I'll be good regardless." Well, I'm not good! With the words of wisdom from Ireadhuney and many others here are three tips to help you cope with post-election stress and anxiety. 1. Ask yourself "what can I control in this moment?" You can control the amount of social media and media that you consume and engage with during the period. You can control when and who you want to engage in political discourse with. You can control the amount of breaks you take to recalibrate and center yourself. You can control how you spend your time (to the best of your ability). It's important to stay present as best as you can and stop, observe, breathe, explore, and reflect during this time period. Be honest about your feelings and needs! 2. Remember to maintain healthy habits and prioritize your health and well-being Did you eat today? Did you talk to someone... anyone today? What ways are you taking care of yourself? The country is falling off the rails, but it's important that you don't follow suit. To reiterate what 'Ireadhuney' so eloquently said, as a Black woman, who is going to take care of you, better than you? Make intentional strides to take care of yourself in small, but meaningful ways. 3.Understand that you don't have to navigate the 2024-2025 Political decision alone As the holidays are approaching, battling family members, society, and sometimes ourselves can be a difficult task to take on. Find a trusted individual (or group) that can hold space and have open and honest conversations surrounding your needs and feelings. Also, utilize this time to stay connected with us here at Sincerely Sanguine! Our monthly blog posts and growing community can serve as your virtual home. When people attempt to minimize or placate your feelings surrounding your feelings surrounding the election decision, just know that you have a community of Black women within Sincerely Sanguine, rooting for and supporting you! I can only guess that you're tired of living through and experiencing history that does not positively impact you. However, this is not the end, this is only the beginning. Kamala blazed the trail and as a result on the local level many Black and Brown women and men have been selected into their local office. Let's celebrate the small victories. When you close your eyes at night and when you wake up in the morning remind yourself that "I am the standard" and move accordingly. We got this, we got us!
3 Tips To Help You Cope With Your Post-Election Anxiety and Stress
Does anyone else feel like crap post 2024 presidential election? The election results have caused feelings of shame, hurt, fear, confusion and hopelessness for many. Results, affirming their distrust for...
Are You Traumatizing Your Hairdresser And Are They Traumatizing You Back?
"Sooo I’m a hair stylist of about 12 years. I love my clients, but do any of my fellow hair stylists feel like they need therapy after some clients trauma dump on them? Like last Thursday I left work feeling terrible and feeling like the things that were told to me are now my burden." (Source: Reddit Thread) One would assume that with an introduction of the new suite style arrangement, and marketing strategy based on a more "luxurious" feel, the client experience would parallel. However, unfortunately for many clients, they are met with Bible length expectations, procedures, and demands. Or an anxious feeling of not knowing whether they will receive the “hey girly” text moments before their appointment, signifying that they will have to scramble to find another stylists in such short notice. Or worse, for males, the fear of potentially witnessing a death or shoot out while in the shop chair. From the hairdresser’s perspective, they arrive to work with the schooling and expertise to tackle hair concerns, but instead are forced to serve as unofficial and untrained clinical professionals. What was once a mutual experience labeled “salon talk” has transitioned to individual therapy, an unofficial fight club, and mean girl central. Everyone has had enough! Salons were once a safe and nurturing space, but have gradually evolved into hostile and dangerous environments. Are you traumatizing your hairdresser and are they traumatizing you back, is a question worth exploring. Within this article we explore the methods to bridge the gap and equip stylists with the tools and resources to help their clients on a more holistic level, while also avoiding emotional fatigue. For clients, we provide you with the historical context and need for beauty salons as safe spaces and how as clients you can self-advocate and utilize your local salon as a resource without unintentionally inflicting harm on your stylists. Do Black Women Have Hair Related Trauma? The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines trauma as an event or series of events that causes physical or emotional harm, or is life-threatening, and has lasting negative effects on a person's well-being. Historically, Black women have experienced micro-agressions, blatant racism, and discrimination within the workplace and larger society related to the presentation of our hair. Within our community, Black women are often held to unreasonable standards, related to how we display our hair by other Black women. Texturism, which is discrimination to those with coarser hair, is often another widely held -ism, that greatly contributes to hair trauma. The constant discourse about perms versus natural hair has gone on for ages. Don't get me started on the "good hair" versus "bad hair" discourse. Hair is a source of pride for some and shame for others, yet, a central and safe space within the Black community was the hair salon. Salon's were the Black women's second church home. Women came to laugh, cry, sing, commune, dance, but most importantly they appeared with the intention of leaving better than they came. Beauticians were honored to impose a few words of wisdom, or spark large full group conversations. Salons were a community staple, but unfortunately Salon culture is shifting to a more capitalistic, cash grab, mechanical, and toxic experience. Yes, in the past you had to mentally prepare to sit for a few hours past your scheduled time, but the events within the salon, made the wait worth it. Now instead of preparing for a long wait time, you have to mentally prepare for the possibility of having to fight your stylists. Many of "these new stylists", as many like to refer to them, are inconsiderate, entitled, unprofessional, and care more about the profit than the person. Referring to them as "stylists" is intentional because many are unlicensed, but have mastered a few styles, booked a suite, zhuzhed it up, and are now wreaking havoc or paying clients. This article is not to bash beauticians or stylists, but to highlight a downward shift in culture and provide solutions. A few "old school beauticians" still remain true to the culture, the one's who would never expect you to come "washed and blow dried." Hello! The old school beauticians who offer suggestions for length retention and prioritize hair health, opposed to drowning your scalp in edge control and styling jam. We're losing the sauce in terms of salon culture, but Dr. Afiya Mbilishaka has provided a feasible solution to unite both client and service provider again. Where Do We Go From Here? Stylists have shared that they experience vicarious trauma and feel ill-equipped when their client's trauma dump or vent intimate and personal information during their appointments. Dr. Afiya Mbilishaka, a licensed therapist and stylists, created an eight hour skills-based, three course layout certification, teaching hairdressers hair history and the power of implementing micro-counseling into their business model. Psychohairapy not only supports the client, but also provides hairdressers with the tools and resources to make referrals, serve as a mental health advocates, and liaisons. Role playing is also included within the training, to work through various scenarios. Dr. Afiya Mbilishaka shares that due to a decline in mental health, hair is often neglected. Hair salons are the ideal space, to quite literally, meet people where they are at. Instead of forcing the beautician to extend their services beyond their scope of practice, resulting in an infliction of harm on themselves and their clients. Dr. Afiya Mbilishaka provides a certification to bridge the gap. I am not certain that we will return to a time, where the neighborhood booster is back in business selling knock-off designer in the salon, or enjoying neighborhood hot plates sold by the locals. However, we can implement practices and procedures to improve what once was and will be. They Target What You Can’t Change India Arie said it best within her hit song 'I am Not My Hair.'"I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations, no I am not my hair. I am not this skin I am the soul that lives within." White supremacy and supremacist culture relies on you hating yourself, including your hair. They target what you can't change, or shouldn't have to change in order to assimilate or feel safe. If you want to slick down your edges, wear an afro, have beady beads, or choose to get silk presses every two weeks, that's your business. The larger goal is to establish a strong self-identity and engage in unconditional self-regard. When You look Good You Feel Good Hairdressers, beauticians, stylists, and barbers are there to make you look and feel good, however, traumatizing you is not included in the core curriculum of cosmetology school. Likewise, they are not your therapist and are not obligated to hold your trauma or traumatic experiences. In graduate school I learned that "under no circumstance should you touch the client as a counselor" and because your hairdresser is not your therapist, they provide you with a level of touch and care in ways, that is often missed in the therapeutic space. After reviewing the article and learning about Psychohairapy, ask yourself "am I traumatizing my hairdresser" or as a hairdresser "am I traumatizing my clients" and "how can I contribute to a healthier salon culture?" Individual PsychoHairapy Certification:Get Certified Today Additional Reading: Ingrid-Penelope Wilson, Afiya M. Mbilishaka, Marva L. Lewis; “White folks ain’t got hair like us”: African American Mother–Daughter Hair Stories and Racial Socialization. Women, Gender, and Families of Color 1 October 2018; 6 (2): 226–248. doi: https://doi.org/10.5406/womgenfamcol.6.2.0226 Linnan, L., Thomas, S., D’Angelo, H. & Ferguson, Y. (2012). 13. African American Barbershops and Beauty Salons: An Innovative Approach to Reducing Health Disparities through Community Building and Health Education. In M. Minkler (Ed.), Community Organizing and Community Building for Health and Welfare (pp. 229-245). Ithaca, NY: Rutgers University Press. https://doi.org/10.36019/9780813553146-01 Pillay, Y. (2011). The Role of the Black Church, the Barbershop/Beauty Salon, and Digital Communication to Support African American Persons Living With HIV/AIDS. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 6(4), 340–350. https://doi.org/10.1080/15401383.2011.631461 Palmer, K. N. (2021). It’s More than Hair: Exploring Sociocultural Factors and Perceptions of the Black Hair Salon and the Stylist’s Role in Health Promotion (Doctoral dissertation, The University of Arizona). https://www.proquest.com/openview/bd329918ce676b4343a922c84f69d63e/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750&diss=y Battle, N. T. (2021). Black girls and the beauty salon: Fostering a safe space for collective self-care. Gender & Society, 35(4), 557-566. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/08912432211027258 Keywords: Black girlhood, justice, self-care, beauty salon, activism, inaccessibility, lived experiences, vicarious trauma, black beauty salon, Trauma Dumping, microcounseling, psycho therapy, Black Hairdresser near me, best black hairdressers Disclaimer: The contents of Sincerely Sanguine's (SS) Site, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the SS Site (“Content”) are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the SS Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 or local emergency number immediately. SS does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by SS, SS employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of SS, or other visitors to the Site is solely at your own risk. The Site and the Content are provided on an “as is” basis.
Are You Traumatizing Your Hairdresser And Are They Traumatizing You Back?
"Sooo I’m a hair stylist of about 12 years. I love my clients, but do any of my fellow hair stylists feel like they need therapy after some clients trauma...
Navigating Spaces That Are Exclusively "White For No Reason"
Tik Toker @Accidentalastroboy discusses the power of de-gentrying your mind in an attempt to navigate spaces that are exclusively "white for no reason." Within the video titled 'Gentrification of our mind,' Accidentalastroboy provides examples of "white for no reason" spaces within television. That 70s Show, The Big Bang Theory, and Lord of the Rings were examples of shows utilized for strategic segregation and escapism. Escapism from Black, Brown, and Indigenous people. The Tiktoker, states "my money is my vote in capitalism," which informs what they consciously choose to engage with and support. One can argue against the necessity of Black-centered media, however unlike "white for no reason" spaces, due to exclusion, there was a necessity to create content that centered black life and experiences due to an identifiable deficit. What do you do when you do not see yourself in the media that you consume? Gilmore Girls serves as a prime example of racial exclusion and a show being "white for no reason." I can count on one hand the number of POC within that show, and less than three fingers are recurring characters. I attempted to watch solely for the mother-daughter relationship, but the white utopian feel made it nearly impossible, and almost painful to watch. Over the summer, I also watched One Tree Hill for the first time and identified that almost immediately the black male characters are solely there to push Lucas' narrative forward. A from rags to riches trope. The Black characters in many white-centered shows are only there to push the narrative forward or serve as props. There is an absence of depth, which sparks the question, what do you do when you do not see yourself in the media that you consume? Like a child, it is time to place yourself at the center of everything and finally serve as the area of focus. Degentrify your mind! How To De-gentrify Your Life and Place Yourself At The Center: Step one: Audit the media and literature that you consume within your life. Access the content that you interact with often. How does the content make you feel? What do you enjoy? What do you dislike? What improvement would you make, if any? How diverse is the content? Do you feel underrepresented? Do you see yourself or aspects of yourself in the media that you are consuming? Is the media a realistic representation of any identities that you hold? What themes do you identify? If there are people of color present, what roles are they in? Who is the writer, producer, etc? Are the distributors of the content and creators of certain characters within the media informed about nuances and cultural practices? After accessing and engaging in a comprehensive life audit, ask yourself am I at the center? If the answer is no, are you okay with that response? Step two: Strategically seek out what you're missing and enjoy. Don't settle for what executives think people of your race, gender, etc value I strategically avoid media that glorifies drug dealing, extreme violence and brutality, hyper-sexuality, and anything that exploits black trauma and engages in the degradation of the black body. The Wonder Years, The Upshaws, and The Ms.Pat Show are a few modern shows that I have watched that are black-centered that are not rooted in black trauma, exploitation, and abuse. When attempting to degentrify your viewership, be mindful of the content that you consume related to your identity. Constantly ask yourself, what is true? Are the beliefs that I hold informed by me or are they rooted in anti-blackness, racism, prejudice, bias, exclusion, etc? When I am searching for content for me, I follow the criteria of seeking something that's informational, family-friendly, thought-provoking, funny, intentional, and well-executed. We can use the show Good Times as a great example to display the decolonization and degentrification of your viewing experience. Colonized/Gentrified view of Good Times: I don't want to watch a show about poor Black People. I am not poor and I can't relate to that. White people think that all black people are poor and Good Times plays into that stereotype. Decolonized/De-gentrified view of Good Times: I enjoy watching family-oriented shows and Good Times is a great example of a strong family unit, an active and involved father, and a loving and engaged community. Despite their financial circumstances, the Evans family displays a level of integrity and love that is admirable. In many ways, I can see myself in certain characters and storylines. You hold the power and in small ways you can influence your reality. List of my favorite shows to watch that are authentically Black/Carribean centered: Girlfriends The Bernie Mac Show My Wife and Kids All of Us One on One Half and Half Eve Living Single In the House The Parent 'Hood Good Times The Parkers Moesha Sister Sister That's So Raven A Different World Fresh Prince of Bel Air Hangin with Mr.Cooper Sanford and Son The Jeffersons Amen Desmond's The Ms.Pat Show The Upshaws The Wonder Years (2021) Martin The Jamie Foxx Show The Wayan's Brothers Everybody Hates Chris Family Matters Pose 227 Is engaging in centering yourself as a BiPOC within your reality necessary? Not only is centering yourself necessary, but it's a vital means of survival. We are taught to navigate the world in a manner that is the complete opposite. We are taught to make space and to shrink ourselves. To love oneself is an act of rebellion. “One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isn't it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim "You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself" made clear sense. And I add, "Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.”― Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions This blog post primarily focused on racial identity, but consume content that highlights the diverse aspects of yourself. This is in no way instructing you to stop watching shows that center whiteness. I love to watch The Nanny, Young Sheldon, Gossip Girl, The Golden Girls and countless other shows that lack diversity. However, I prioritize and constantly rewatch shows where I am at the center. Watch shows that show appreciation for different body types, languages, hues, hair textures, and much more. Actively consume content where you see yourself and others, opposed to content that makes you feel othered. People of Color are people and deserve to feel seen in the content that they consume. Centering yourself does not stop at media spaces, but books, movies, music, podcasts, food, and so forth. What are you consuming holistically and how can you make it you centered? Add these identity and cultural vocabulary words to your word bank: Acculturation: cultural modification of an individual, group, or people by adapting to or borrowing traits from another culture. Enculturation: the process by which an individual learns the traditional content of a culture and assimilates its practices and values Assimilation: the process of becoming similar to something Disclaimer: The contents of Sincerely Sanguine's (SS) Site, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the SS Site (“Content”) are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the SS Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 or local emergency number immediately. SS does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by SS, SS employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of SS, or other visitors to the Site is solely at your own risk. The Site and the Content are provided on an “as is” basis.
Navigating Spaces That Are Exclusively "White For No Reason"
Tik Toker @Accidentalastroboy discusses the power of de-gentrying your mind in an attempt to navigate spaces that are exclusively "white for no reason." Within the video titled 'Gentrification of our mind,'...
American Fiction (2023) — Essence Magazine Made Me Do It
On December 25th, 2023, as we waited for The Color Purple (2024) to begin in the theater, I distinctly remember seeing the trailer for the film American Fiction. My immediate thoughts were "not another one" and "that looks lame."I swore that I would avoid going and supporting another modern day blaxploitation film by any means. However, after seeing the Essence magazine cover for the January and February issue, and reading about the movie from Issa Rae, Tracee Ellis Ross, and Erika Alexander's perspective, I was sold!
American Fiction (2023) — Essence Magazine Made Me Do It
On December 25th, 2023, as we waited for The Color Purple (2024) to begin in the theater, I distinctly remember seeing the trailer for the film American Fiction. My immediate thoughts were "not another one"...
'The Other Black Girl' Hulu Watch Review
Explore 'The Other Black Girl' series and gain insights into the compromises, whitewashing, and intricate challenges encountered by black women as they navigate the path to success.
'The Other Black Girl' Hulu Watch Review
Explore 'The Other Black Girl' series and gain insights into the compromises, whitewashing, and intricate challenges encountered by black women as they navigate the path to success.
Add 'Just as I am: A Memoir' to your booklist
Discover the secret to living past 90. Cicely Tyson's memoir 'Just As I am' gives insight into finding the will to follow your dreams and live freely. Read now!
Add 'Just as I am: A Memoir' to your booklist
Discover the secret to living past 90. Cicely Tyson's memoir 'Just As I am' gives insight into finding the will to follow your dreams and live freely. Read now!