The Daily Glow: An E-space for Healing and Growth
Are You Traumatizing Your Hairdresser And Are They Traumatizing You Back?
"Sooo I’m a hair stylist of about 12 years. I love my clients, but do any of my fellow hair stylists feel like they need therapy after some clients trauma dump on them? Like last Thursday I left work feeling terrible and feeling like the things that were told to me are now my burden." (Source: Reddit Thread) One would assume that with an introduction of the new suite style arrangement, and marketing strategy based on a more "luxurious" feel, the client experience would parallel. However, unfortunately for many clients, they are met with Bible length expectations, procedures, and demands. Or an anxious feeling of not knowing whether they will receive the “hey girly” text moments before their appointment, signifying that they will have to scramble to find another stylists in such short notice. Or worse, for males, the fear of potentially witnessing a death or shoot out while in the shop chair. From the hairdresser’s perspective, they arrive to work with the schooling and expertise to tackle hair concerns, but instead are forced to serve as unofficial and untrained clinical professionals. What was once a mutual experience labeled “salon talk” has transitioned to individual therapy, an unofficial fight club, and mean girl central. Everyone has had enough! Salons were once a safe and nurturing space, but have gradually evolved into hostile and dangerous environments. Are you traumatizing your hairdresser and are they traumatizing you back, is a question worth exploring. Within this article we explore the methods to bridge the gap and equip stylists with the tools and resources to help their clients on a more holistic level, while also avoiding emotional fatigue. For clients, we provide you with the historical context and need for beauty salons as safe spaces and how as clients you can self-advocate and utilize your local salon as a resource without unintentionally inflicting harm on your stylists. Do Black Women Have Hair Related Trauma? The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines trauma as an event or series of events that causes physical or emotional harm, or is life-threatening, and has lasting negative effects on a person's well-being. Historically, Black women have experienced micro-agressions, blatant racism, and discrimination within the workplace and larger society related to the presentation of our hair. Within our community, Black women are often held to unreasonable standards, related to how we display our hair by other Black women. Texturism, which is discrimination to those with coarser hair, is often another widely held -ism, that greatly contributes to hair trauma. The constant discourse about perms versus natural hair has gone on for ages. Don't get me started on the "good hair" versus "bad hair" discourse. Hair is a source of pride for some and shame for others, yet, a central and safe space within the Black community was the hair salon. Salon's were the Black women's second church home. Women came to laugh, cry, sing, commune, dance, but most importantly they appeared with the intention of leaving better than they came. Beauticians were honored to impose a few words of wisdom, or spark large full group conversations. Salons were a community staple, but unfortunately Salon culture is shifting to a more capitalistic, cash grab, mechanical, and toxic experience. Yes, in the past you had to mentally prepare to sit for a few hours past your scheduled time, but the events within the salon, made the wait worth it. Now instead of preparing for a long wait time, you have to mentally prepare for the possibility of having to fight your stylists. Many of "these new stylists", as many like to refer to them, are inconsiderate, entitled, unprofessional, and care more about the profit than the person. Referring to them as "stylists" is intentional because many are unlicensed, but have mastered a few styles, booked a suite, zhuzhed it up, and are now wreaking havoc or paying clients. This article is not to bash beauticians or stylists, but to highlight a downward shift in culture and provide solutions. A few "old school beauticians" still remain true to the culture, the one's who would never expect you to come "washed and blow dried." Hello! The old school beauticians who offer suggestions for length retention and prioritize hair health, opposed to drowning your scalp in edge control and styling jam. We're losing the sauce in terms of salon culture, but Dr. Afiya Mbilishaka has provided a feasible solution to unite both client and service provider again. Where Do We Go From Here? Stylists have shared that they experience vicarious trauma and feel ill-equipped when their client's trauma dump or vent intimate and personal information during their appointments. Dr. Afiya Mbilishaka, a licensed therapist and stylists, created an eight hour skills-based, three course layout certification, teaching hairdressers hair history and the power of implementing micro-counseling into their business model. Psychohairapy not only supports the client, but also provides hairdressers with the tools and resources to make referrals, serve as a mental health advocates, and liaisons. Role playing is also included within the training, to work through various scenarios. Dr. Afiya Mbilishaka shares that due to a decline in mental health, hair is often neglected. Hair salons are the ideal space, to quite literally, meet people where they are at. Instead of forcing the beautician to extend their services beyond their scope of practice, resulting in an infliction of harm on themselves and their clients. Dr. Afiya Mbilishaka provides a certification to bridge the gap. I am not certain that we will return to a time, where the neighborhood booster is back in business selling knock-off designer in the salon, or enjoying neighborhood hot plates sold by the locals. However, we can implement practices and procedures to improve what once was and will be. They Target What You Can’t Change India Arie said it best within her hit song 'I am Not My Hair.'"I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations, no I am not my hair. I am not this skin I am the soul that lives within." White supremacy and supremacist culture relies on you hating yourself, including your hair. They target what you can't change, or shouldn't have to change in order to assimilate or feel safe. If you want to slick down your edges, wear an afro, have beady beads, or choose to get silk presses every two weeks, that's your business. The larger goal is to establish a strong self-identity and engage in unconditional self-regard. When You look Good You Feel Good Hairdressers, beauticians, stylists, and barbers are there to make you look and feel good, however, traumatizing you is not included in the core curriculum of cosmetology school. Likewise, they are not your therapist and are not obligated to hold your trauma or traumatic experiences. In graduate school I learned that "under no circumstance should you touch the client as a counselor" and because your hairdresser is not your therapist, they provide you with a level of touch and care in ways, that is often missed in the therapeutic space. After reviewing the article and learning about Psychohairapy, ask yourself "am I traumatizing my hairdresser" or as a hairdresser "am I traumatizing my clients" and "how can I contribute to a healthier salon culture?" Individual PsychoHairapy Certification:Get Certified Today Additional Reading: Ingrid-Penelope Wilson, Afiya M. Mbilishaka, Marva L. Lewis; “White folks ain’t got hair like us”: African American Mother–Daughter Hair Stories and Racial Socialization. Women, Gender, and Families of Color 1 October 2018; 6 (2): 226–248. doi: https://doi.org/10.5406/womgenfamcol.6.2.0226 Linnan, L., Thomas, S., D’Angelo, H. & Ferguson, Y. (2012). 13. African American Barbershops and Beauty Salons: An Innovative Approach to Reducing Health Disparities through Community Building and Health Education. In M. Minkler (Ed.), Community Organizing and Community Building for Health and Welfare (pp. 229-245). Ithaca, NY: Rutgers University Press. https://doi.org/10.36019/9780813553146-01 Pillay, Y. (2011). The Role of the Black Church, the Barbershop/Beauty Salon, and Digital Communication to Support African American Persons Living With HIV/AIDS. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 6(4), 340–350. https://doi.org/10.1080/15401383.2011.631461 Palmer, K. N. (2021). It’s More than Hair: Exploring Sociocultural Factors and Perceptions of the Black Hair Salon and the Stylist’s Role in Health Promotion (Doctoral dissertation, The University of Arizona). https://www.proquest.com/openview/bd329918ce676b4343a922c84f69d63e/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750&diss=y Battle, N. T. (2021). Black girls and the beauty salon: Fostering a safe space for collective self-care. Gender & Society, 35(4), 557-566. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/08912432211027258 Keywords: Black girlhood, justice, self-care, beauty salon, activism, inaccessibility, lived experiences, vicarious trauma, black beauty salon, Trauma Dumping, microcounseling, psycho therapy, Black Hairdresser near me, best black hairdressers Disclaimer: The contents of Sincerely Sanguine's (SS) Site, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the SS Site (“Content”) are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the SS Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 or local emergency number immediately. 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Are You Traumatizing Your Hairdresser And Are They Traumatizing You Back?
"Sooo I’m a hair stylist of about 12 years. I love my clients, but do any of my fellow hair stylists feel like they need therapy after some clients trauma...
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