The Daily Glow: An E-space for Healing and Growth
Why do healthy relationships feel “boring”?
Within our article Dating the "medium-ugly" guy might be better for your mental health we address the possibility of dating the "medium-ugly" guy with hopes of finding a healthy partner, outside of physical appearance. Dating the "square" or "poindexter" can feel boring or unfulfilling, especially if this relationship follows a more toxic one. According to Psychology Today, here are three reasons why healthy relationships feel boring and bore some people. Relationships that feel like rollercoasters have become the norm for you You are accustomed to overextending yourself and ignore your needs Due to conditioning, you believe that healthy and consistent relationships are boring Safe and secure relationships can feel boring at times and it's important to consider are these feelings related to past experiences. Lean into the feelings of safety and security. Share your needs and insecurities often. You deserve a a love that feels safe! 3 Reasons Why Healthy Relationships Bore Some People | Psychology Today. (n.d.). Www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-dating/202212/3-reasons-you-feel-bored-by-a-healthy-relationship
Why do healthy relationships feel “boring”?
Within our article Dating the "medium-ugly" guy might be better for your mental health we address the possibility of dating the "medium-ugly" guy with hopes of finding a healthy partner, outside of physical...
Are Traumatized Women “Less Feminine”?
What does it mean to be “traumatized” or have experienced trauma? According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), trauma is defined as exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence. This can include: Direct experience: Experiencing the traumatic event directly Witnessing: Witnessing the event in person as it happened to others Indirect exposure: Learning that a close friend or family member experienced the event Repeated exposure: Being repeatedly exposed to details of the event An individual that is traumatized may experience distress and significant impairment. Everyone reacts differently to trauma, however many women have found that they are often incapable of identifying with “soft life” and “demure” culture because they display more culturally masculine traits, as a result of their life experiences. While masculine characteristics and feminine characteristics are subjective, those that have expressed an inability to tap into their softer and gentler side fault their trauma and upbringing. Those that have experienced parentification within their development, express that allowing others to lead and asking for help are difficult tasks to overcome. Parentification or parent-child role reversal, is defined as a child or adolescent placed in inappropriate and often burdensome roles to support or maintain the family system. For children and adolescents that have been placed in the parent and caretaker role, they often struggle emotionally and socially within adulthood. Many often experience forms of burnout early because of the responsibilities and expectations of their childhood. Stress is also often a contributing factor in one’s feeling of presenting “less feminine.” Stress is not only a silent killer, but can throw your nervous system completely out of whack. Those that experience high levels of stress are often in a constant state of activation and urgency. Chronic stress, which is pervasive, in comparison to Acute Stress has the potential to increase health concerns, meath health symptoms, and has a detrimental impact on one’s overall functionality and quality of life. How might Chronic Stress present itself and impact you? Body aches and pains Energy decrease Loss or significant changes to appetite Sleep changes Nervousness or feelings of anxiousness Changes in social behavior Headaches and Migraines and much more Stress management is not only paramount, but a survival essential. Many have often shared that they feel “ugly” or undesirable due to an inability to engage in self-care and self maintenance. “I’m stressed and I’m ugly!” As the saying goes, when you look good, you feel good. Make intentional attempts at incorporating moments of self-care and stress management into your everyday schedule. Pay yourself first! You pay a job with your time every time you clock in. You pay an institution every time you show up! What’s holding you back from paying yourself? Femininity can be a feeling and a mindset. Your feminine presentation may differ drastically from someone else's, which is okay! So, you're not the coquette, pink bow wearing type, does that make you less of a woman if you don't and more if you do? Life is a learning curve, and it's important to identify what works best for you. In my own journey towards understanding my own femininity and feminine presentation, I utilized these tips to lean less on what society deems as more masculine traits in an attempt to define womanhood and what femininity looks like to me. Even the bible says "guard your heart", but it's important to identify the distinction between avoidance and protection. Both present similar, but one is often rooted in fear, requires a hardening of one's self, and appears more on the defensive side. Are you often hyper-independent? Do you display traits of reservation, distance, and those of an enigma? Are you hyper-critical of yourself or others? Do you struggle with trusting others and asking for help? If you related to any of the questions above, I think it's time to reconnect with yourself. Explore where these traits stem from and identify if they are helpful or harmful? Ways that we tap into our feminine side and feminine energy: Movement Finding a good fragrance that makes us feel feminine Engaging in identity reformation and exploring harmful and helpful beliefs and ideals surrounding femininity and womanhood that we hold Finding empowerment and inspiration from our Sheroes (combination of she and heroes.) That embody our definition of femininity and feminine energy Avoid comparing ourselves to others and making attempts at not falling victim to the latest trends providing new and unattainable standards of femininity Self expression Empowering and complimenting other woman Smiling, when we want to, rather than when we are told to Complimenting and praising unique aspects of ourselves Allowing others to help us and not shaming ourselves after Wearing clothes that allow us to feel feminine and countless other activities and practices that make us feel beautiful, seen, and safe Many of us are in survival mode and are unaware. You are not more or less feminine for not wearing bows or the faintest hue of pink. Femininity is strong, assertive, powerful, but also gentle, meticulous, and free-flowing. Yes, you may have experienced significant trauma and events that altered how you present within and navigate the world. However, one's trauma history does not make an individual less or more feminine. Somehow we have weaponized femininity, when it's truly an individual experience. In closing, here are a few prompts to help you understand and tap into your feminine energy. Feminine energy journal prompts: How do you define your feminine energy? What does it look like? What does it feel like? How do others react to it? When do you feel the most feminine? The contents of Sincerely Sanguine's (SS) Site, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the SS Site (“Content”) are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the SS Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 or local emergency number immediately. SS does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by SS, SS employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of SS, or other visitors to the Site is solely at your own risk. The Site and the Content are provided on an “as is” basis.
Are Traumatized Women “Less Feminine”?
What does it mean to be “traumatized” or have experienced trauma? According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), trauma is defined as exposure to actual or...
Dating the "medium-ugly" guy might be better for your mental health
Understand the link between dating and mental health, the benefits of relationships, and the importance of positive relationships for your mental health.
Dating the "medium-ugly" guy might be better for your mental health
Understand the link between dating and mental health, the benefits of relationships, and the importance of positive relationships for your mental health.
📓 Life & college survival guide
ADVICE TO HELP YOU GET THROUGH YOUR ADULTHOOD Say hello to your cheat-code to life! We asked 20+ adults to answer the question “What are some lessons and tips that you wish someone would have told you as a senior in high school that would have helped you throughout life” and here's what they had to say. CLICK THE LINKS BELOW ⤵️ Read when you need advice about academics Read when you need general (life and college) advice Read when you need a few words of wisdom Read when you need advice on your artistic/creative process Read when you need advice on Finances/Employment/Money BONUS TIP: On a computer you can hit the command+f key (on MAC) or ctrl+f (on Windows) to find EXACTLY what you're looking for. The hope is that you will utilize this post as a resource and guide. Feel free to bookmark and share with someone that might need it! When in doubt, figure it out! 📝Read when you need advice about academics: Sit in the front of the class, this shows the professor that you are engaged. This also makes it easier to ask questions because you can’t see the people behind you. Have a nice balance of extracurricular activities and school Try to find friends that are in your major: this way you’ll have life long connections, people to do your homework with, and they’ll send you job offers/opportunities in the future Get hobbies, join a club, do sh*t you think you won’t like Community college is still college: don’t get stuck on the name! Do Gen. Eds. first ‘Ratemyprofessor.com’ is your bible Apply to every scholarship! Have someone help you with your FAFSA, grants, scholarships Make sure you maintain a strong GPA during your freshman year and into your senior year. This mentality also applies to course work. If you start off strong, there’s more wiggle room and a cushion, just in case. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you think you’ll look dumb, at least you’ll look “dumb” with an answer! You also could be asking a question that someone else might have needed an answer to, but was also too afraid to ask. Make sure that you are volunteering and participating in community service in some capacity Private versus public education, which is the best financially for you? Don’t take out loans unless it’s necessary and start with government first Take advantage of resources and network as much as possible Apply and check on your FAFSA every year, starting from your Freshman year to your Senior year Be a teacher’s pet because they determine your success Care about the last semester… finish it and finish strong Don’t be afraid to change your major Stress kills (Literally)! Make stress management your best friend. Take Me Back to the List 🛠Read when you need general (life and college) advice: Take lots of pictures (and print them out), but also remember to live in the moment Good luck! It’s okay to do what’s best for you! Avoid going home every weekend or within the first few weeks of college. The goal is to step outside of your comfort zone. Going home only pushes you back into it. You don’t have to only attend college to study abroad The first day is usually the hardest (mentally), but colleges often make it enjoyable with activities and free items Most people will clique up within the first week. Some may last, while others may fizzle out. If you haven’t found your friend group in the first week or first couple of months don’t beat yourself up Get comfortable with spending time with yourself. There may be times when you’ll have to eat alone and that’s okay! Shower shoes are non-negotiable! Don’t just focus on school, school should be 40% of your life Stay in college as long as you can Join clubs that you are interested in, even if you’re unfamiliar or never have done it before Use swipes more than dining dollars and make friends with the lunch attendants, you might get free food Everyone poops and if you’re uncomfortable going in a communal space wear headphones Don’t bring EVERYTHING from your room at home, there’s barely enough space. Bring what you need. It’s okay to have “at home” friends and college friends, and mixing the two is not always the best idea Don't lock yourself away in your room. Utilize the common spaces for studying and watching tv Take time for yourself, if your social battery is depleted, that’s a clear sign that you need to recharge Prioritize your mental health and well-being, most colleges offer *FREE* counseling and mental health resources. Take advantage! If you choose to participate in recreational activities, do it safely. Once you put your cup down it’s no longer yours! Get another one. If you see something, say something immediately. Better to be safe than sorry. Call home to let your family know you’re alive every once in a while. (they’ll appreciate it) No, does not mean convince someone and if you ever feel uncomfortable speak up and tell someone. Don’t be afraid to leave home, you’ll start to develop multiple “homes” the more you move Incorporate a fitness routine into your schedule, whether that be utilizing the school gym, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or going for daily walks solo or with a few friends Get your 8hrs. Learn to make your own choices If you can leave [for school], go! Hang out more! Spend your time wisely Your character and authenticity matters Be open to meeting new people Relationships can get in the way Floss! Try everything and be patient Don’t be in a rush to grow up, most adults want to go back Apply yourself Find community College is a small pond, it’s sort of like practice Find time to do the things that you enjoy and get your priorities straight so that you are able to do both. Education is important, but experiencing the outside world before you’re unable to is important as well. Travel while you’re still able to enjoy it! Traveling offers a new perspective and allows you to realize just how small the city is DO NOT WEAR YOUR PJs to class! Dress for success! Early is on time and on time is late! Take Me Back to the List 💌Read when you need a few words of wisdom: “May the flowers remind you why rain is necessary” If you didn’t get exactly what you wanted, don’t be discouraged. The thing you didn’t get may have been in the way of something much better! If you can’t immediately work towards a goal or dream don’t forget it. Keep moving forward! Don’t give up. Anytime that you’re feeling judged or that people might judge you, most people are more concerned about what’s going on in their own life. 9 times out of 10 they’re probably thinking about themselves. Everyone’s path is their own, and everyone’s path looks different Get focused and focus on it! Show up as you are, ALWAYS! Show up in the world like you care about yourself. How are you presenting yourself? First impressions matter, but you can always redeem yourself if it doesn’t go as planned Use your voice, you have one! Get to know yourself, what you want, and how to get it Give yourself some grace while you’re figuring it out Take the time to think about what you want to do to avoid regrets Just do it! Life is all about calculated risks! Stick up for yourself and advocate for your needs! Prove them wrong and shock yourself! Things won’t happen when you want or as quickly as you want it, but it could happen Do what you wanna do most Don’t be afraid to take risks You are your own definition of success Don’t take the bare minimum! The thing that you are resisting the most is probably what you need to grow If you think you’re dumb you’re probably right, if you think you’re a genius you’re probably right. Your mindset matters. Try again! Don’t seek perfection! The best requires work! Don’t feel like you have to have it all figured out! Take it slow! There’s time! Don’t forget that you’re pretty young Try not to worry, create a vision for your path. Just start! It’s the journey! Take it all in, even the different things Be kind to people Be kind to yourself Your path is yours so follow what’s in your heart People will only give you what you will allow Don’t stress about the past, learn from it. Take Me Back to the List 🎨Read when you need advice on your artistic/creative process: Try different mediums and don’t feel like you have to stick to one. Never stop creating or being conceptual. Make it a habit to carry around a sketchbook or journal for notes, management, sketches, and it’s better than a phone! Don't get too attached to the end product and enjoy the process Look at what everyone else is doing and then don't do that! Take Me Back to the List 💰Read when you need advice on Finances/Employment/Money: Find yourself before you make a major financial decision “If you’re going to sell your soul to retail, Apple is a great start. They offer great benefits” Go for the job giving you the most benefits! Retail jobs don’t care! Take what you need and get out! Always read what you’re signing and make sure you understand what you’re signing Start asking for what you're worth right away so you can get used to it! Find careers that are marketable Be consistent with your credit The sooner you pay off loans, the better You can also consolidate your loans to one bill *Important note: if applied to student loans, you will not be eligible for loan forgiveness or interest decreases if your federal loans are consolidated into a private loan! Take advantage of internships. Prioritize internships and don’t blow it off. If your school doesn’t offer internship support make sure you look for yourself. Monetizing your gifts: Build a website and a professional Instagram account Get your finances in order: you need a savings account and the ability to understand how and when to use a credit card Buy land…eventually Understand how to complete your taxes or how to find support with tax filing If a place of work says that they’re a family… run! Accounting: understand how to manage your money by budgeting and monitoring your spending habits Networking can happen naturally Find a marketable skill that you can improve on Entrepreneurship: Find a hobby that’s for you and also find a hobby that you can reap the monetary benefits of. “Find a hobby unique to you that you can share with the world.” Try to find work life balance early You will be 70 eventually, prepare for your future now. Think about your legacy/retirement plan Understand the consequences of overspending on a Credit Cards You can always make more money, but you can't always make more time. If you're making the right kind of friends, money shouldn't really be a problem. Don't lend people money. The people that can pay you back usually don't need to borrow money. Take Me Back to the List A LETTER JUST FOR YOU ****MUST READ**** Dear reader— You’re an adult now! Well, that’s what the adults keep telling you, but what does that even mean? “I’m an adult!” I hate to break it to you, but contrary to popular belief most adults are winging it and no one really knows what they’re doing. Adulthood is more than paying bills, being serious all the time, and telling people what to do. As a child you spent your entire life being told what to do and how to do it by these same adults, and now you’re expected to become them. Scary right? However, I have great news! In an ideal world, school and life would have prepared you for this very moment, the big moment. The moment when you set aside your childish ways, get an education, and work for the rest of your life! Unfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world, where everything happens as it should and when it should. However, we are fortunate to live in the real world. A world where we have the power to influence the life we want to live and the adult we want to become. This is your opportunity to create your life. It’s not an easy task, but as the saying goes “if it comes easy it won’t last, and if it will last it won’t come easy.” Although, you are now considered an adult that does not mean that you know everything, no one does. You will make mistakes along the way, but the best part about life is those mistakes help you build habits so that you can avoid making that same mistake again. Fortunately, when you do something “wrong”, understand that you weren’t the first to do it and you won’t be the last. You might be too young, but when I was a kid, a popular show was Ned’s Declassified School Survival guide. In summary, Ned gave us (the audience) tips packed with insight for navigating high school. You have successfully passed that stage in life and you are now transitioning into another. To equip you for your journey, the staff at Artist for Humanity helped curate a Life Survival Guide to assist you in your transition. Mentors that have been where you are going have provided you with tips and tricks for successfully conquering a new environment. Congratulations on making the transition and please understand that your worth is not determined by how and if you finish college. This is your journey and if it takes you 4 years or 6, you’re still elite! As my former teacher would say to me “kick butt and take names!”
📓 Life & college survival guide
ADVICE TO HELP YOU GET THROUGH YOUR ADULTHOOD Say hello to your cheat-code to life! We asked 20+ adults to answer the question “What are some lessons and tips that you...
Add 'Just as I am: A Memoir' to your booklist
Discover the secret to living past 90. Cicely Tyson's memoir 'Just As I am' gives insight into finding the will to follow your dreams and live freely. Read now!
Add 'Just as I am: A Memoir' to your booklist
Discover the secret to living past 90. Cicely Tyson's memoir 'Just As I am' gives insight into finding the will to follow your dreams and live freely. Read now!
From Love to Fashion: 6 Lessons You Can Learn from 'Sex and the City
"Sex and the City" was a groundbreaking show that aired on HBO from 1998 to 2004. It followed the lives of four single women living in New York City as they navigated their careers, relationships, and personal growth. Here are some lessons that you can learn from the show
From Love to Fashion: 6 Lessons You Can Learn from 'Sex and the City
"Sex and the City" was a groundbreaking show that aired on HBO from 1998 to 2004. It followed the lives of four single women living in New York City as...