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Why do healthy relationships feel “boring”?
Within our article Dating the "medium-ugly" guy might be better for your mental health we address the possibility of dating the "medium-ugly" guy with hopes of finding a healthy partner, outside of physical appearance. Dating the "square" or "poindexter" can feel boring or unfulfilling, especially if this relationship follows a more toxic one. According to Psychology Today, here are three reasons why healthy relationships feel boring and bore some people. Relationships that feel like rollercoasters have become the norm for you You are accustomed to overextending yourself and ignore your needs Due to conditioning, you believe that healthy and consistent relationships are boring Safe and secure relationships can feel boring at times and it's important to consider are these feelings related to past experiences. Lean into the feelings of safety and security. Share your needs and insecurities often. You deserve a a love that feels safe! 3 Reasons Why Healthy Relationships Bore Some People | Psychology Today. (n.d.). Www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-dating/202212/3-reasons-you-feel-bored-by-a-healthy-relationship
Why do healthy relationships feel “boring”?
Within our article Dating the "medium-ugly" guy might be better for your mental health we address the possibility of dating the "medium-ugly" guy with hopes of finding a healthy partner, outside of physical...
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3 Easy Steps To Start and Run A Book Club With Friends
Finding time to read can be a hassle and navigating adult friendships can be difficult, especially amidst such demanding schedules. How do you find time to spend time with friends, when time feels limited? A book club is a great start! If you're considering starting a book club with your friends or curious about how to find book clubs, here are three easy steps to get started. Don't worry the tips are introvert and busy schedule friendly. How to start a book club with friends? Step one: find friends who are willing to commit to the book club and who will be involved The Reese Witherspoon Book Club is most notable for bringing people together through their love for literature and reading. Find inspo. for book club ideas/activities on virtual platforms such as Pinterest, Goodreads, and Tik Tok. There’s something special about starting a book club, and building community through one's love for literature. Finding willing and able participants is a great start for those interested in learning how to start a book club at school or how to start a book club online. Step two: as a group select the book that you would like to read When engaging in a book club online and starting a book club with friends, deciding which book to select can be a challenge. Our favorite online book club platform is Goodreads. Here's your personal book club invite to our book club 'Pot Liquor For The Soul.' We typically add books to a list and peek at other user's reviews for inspiration in order to determine if a book selection is the right fit. We happened to stumble upon our most recent book selection, ‘The House of Eve’ simply by searching “books for black girls” on Tik Tok. Keep an open mind when selecting attempting to select a book. Step three: Start a group chat! As you transition through the book use emojis and texts to document your reactions by chapter and to signify which chapters you've completed to the members of your book club. This approach adds new meaning to online book clubs. Often times, having to recap full chapters and find the words for your reactions can be tiring and take away from the experience. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Let the emojis do the talking. Within ‘Not Another Think Piece’ episode two, we discuss how we managed to engage in our first summer book club, and offered a book review of the novel 'The House of Eve.' "38" signifies the chapter and the emojis are the person's reaction to the chapter. We found that utilizing text message reactions, gifs, and short responses worked best for our busy work and school schedules. This is by far the simplest book club guide and instruction to get started. Many people are now homebodies, simply because free third spaces are becoming obsolete, and most activities are expensive, involve drinking, or lack creativity. A book club via text is a great method to build and maintain community. Also, once we finished the book we hosted a book club picnic! We came together in person and debriefed about the novel overall. How to run a book club discussion? When attempting to engage in a book club discussion with your friends, KISS. Keep it simple silly. Less is more when engaging in a book club discussion, because most times the conversation will go in many directions. As you read note themes, reactions, and thoughts. What questions are coming up for you as you are reading the chapter? What are you thoughts on particular characters? As you begin to discuss the book, ask your friends open-ended questions. This will allow the conversation to expand. Also, make predictions, but no spoilers! Lavar Burton would be proud! Reading is amazing and it's important to find ways to build community. It's especially important to find affordable activities to engage friends and maintain healthy friendships. What friends are you willing to ask to join your book club? Which book would you want to read first and why? Happy reading!
3 Easy Steps To Start and Run A Book Club With Friends
Finding time to read can be a hassle and navigating adult friendships can be difficult, especially amidst such demanding schedules. How do you find time to spend time with friends, when...
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Are Traumatized Women “Less Feminine”?
What does it mean to be “traumatized” or have experienced trauma? According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), trauma is defined as exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence. This can include: Direct experience: Experiencing the traumatic event directly Witnessing: Witnessing the event in person as it happened to others Indirect exposure: Learning that a close friend or family member experienced the event Repeated exposure: Being repeatedly exposed to details of the event An individual that is traumatized may experience distress and significant impairment. Everyone reacts differently to trauma, however many women have found that they are often incapable of identifying with “soft life” and “demure” culture because they display more culturally masculine traits, as a result of their life experiences. While masculine characteristics and feminine characteristics are subjective, those that have expressed an inability to tap into their softer and gentler side fault their trauma and upbringing. Those that have experienced parentification within their development, express that allowing others to lead and asking for help are difficult tasks to overcome. Parentification or parent-child role reversal, is defined as a child or adolescent placed in inappropriate and often burdensome roles to support or maintain the family system. For children and adolescents that have been placed in the parent and caretaker role, they often struggle emotionally and socially within adulthood. Many often experience forms of burnout early because of the responsibilities and expectations of their childhood. Stress is also often a contributing factor in one’s feeling of presenting “less feminine.” Stress is not only a silent killer, but can throw your nervous system completely out of whack. Those that experience high levels of stress are often in a constant state of activation and urgency. Chronic stress, which is pervasive, in comparison to Acute Stress has the potential to increase health concerns, meath health symptoms, and has a detrimental impact on one’s overall functionality and quality of life. How might Chronic Stress present itself and impact you? Body aches and pains Energy decrease Loss or significant changes to appetite Sleep changes Nervousness or feelings of anxiousness Changes in social behavior Headaches and Migraines and much more Stress management is not only paramount, but a survival essential. Many have often shared that they feel “ugly” or undesirable due to an inability to engage in self-care and self maintenance. “I’m stressed and I’m ugly!” As the saying goes, when you look good, you feel good. Make intentional attempts at incorporating moments of self-care and stress management into your everyday schedule. Pay yourself first! You pay a job with your time every time you clock in. You pay an institution every time you show up! What’s holding you back from paying yourself? Femininity can be a feeling and a mindset. Your feminine presentation may differ drastically from someone else's, which is okay! So, you're not the coquette, pink bow wearing type, does that make you less of a woman if you don't and more if you do? Life is a learning curve, and it's important to identify what works best for you. In my own journey towards understanding my own femininity and feminine presentation, I utilized these tips to lean less on what society deems as more masculine traits in an attempt to define womanhood and what femininity looks like to me. Even the bible says "guard your heart", but it's important to identify the distinction between avoidance and protection. Both present similar, but one is often rooted in fear, requires a hardening of one's self, and appears more on the defensive side. Are you often hyper-independent? Do you display traits of reservation, distance, and those of an enigma? Are you hyper-critical of yourself or others? Do you struggle with trusting others and asking for help? If you related to any of the questions above, I think it's time to reconnect with yourself. Explore where these traits stem from and identify if they are helpful or harmful? Ways that we tap into our feminine side and feminine energy: Movement Finding a good fragrance that makes us feel feminine Engaging in identity reformation and exploring harmful and helpful beliefs and ideals surrounding femininity and womanhood that we hold Finding empowerment and inspiration from our Sheroes (combination of she and heroes.) That embody our definition of femininity and feminine energy Avoid comparing ourselves to others and making attempts at not falling victim to the latest trends providing new and unattainable standards of femininity Self expression Empowering and complimenting other woman Smiling, when we want to, rather than when we are told to Complimenting and praising unique aspects of ourselves Allowing others to help us and not shaming ourselves after Wearing clothes that allow us to feel feminine and countless other activities and practices that make us feel beautiful, seen, and safe Many of us are in survival mode and are unaware. You are not more or less feminine for not wearing bows or the faintest hue of pink. Femininity is strong, assertive, powerful, but also gentle, meticulous, and free-flowing. Yes, you may have experienced significant trauma and events that altered how you present within and navigate the world. However, one's trauma history does not make an individual less or more feminine. Somehow we have weaponized femininity, when it's truly an individual experience. In closing, here are a few prompts to help you understand and tap into your feminine energy. Feminine energy journal prompts: How do you define your feminine energy? What does it look like? What does it feel like? How do others react to it? When do you feel the most feminine? The contents of Sincerely Sanguine's (SS) Site, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the SS Site (“Content”) are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the SS Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 or local emergency number immediately. SS does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by SS, SS employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of SS, or other visitors to the Site is solely at your own risk. The Site and the Content are provided on an “as is” basis.
Are Traumatized Women “Less Feminine”?
What does it mean to be “traumatized” or have experienced trauma? According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), trauma is defined as exposure to actual or...
